I was a big boy, and stepped out of The Lowered last week. I
attended my second No Kings (NK) rally last week. You can read about my first
experience here.
Across the country, millions and millions attended rallies
-big, beautiful rallies- that were intended to get people out to vote. In fact,
more people showed up to a NK protest on average, than any of Trump’s empty
propaganda rallies. OK, I don’t know that’s actually true, but I think
that’s gotta be accurate, and Maga doesn’t fact check anyway. Being honest
here, I think both sides know what this is, another protest against the
biggest, orangiest shit stain in the history of man. Know how I know that?
Anyone remember the rallies against Biden? Or Clinton? Or Bush? Trump has got
to be W’s favorite president, because we forget what a shit show W was.
After my first NK rally, I had a better idea what to expect.
Last time, I was unprepared; I didn’t even bring a sign. There were kind souls
there who made extras. Lesson learned. I had to make some signs. And let’s be
honest here, this is me, so the signs are going to be edgy, snarky and
triggering. What moran goes to a protest and doesn’t even bring a hastily
scrawled sign?
I prepared ahead of time, got some paper board and started commemorating
my wit to 18 x 22 boards. And you know what I learned?
Man, writing clear and concise funny signs is work.
It doesn’t help that my handwriting is so bad, doctors can’t read it. Writing
signs is a damn science, and I had to learn. Here’s how most of my Friday
night/Saturday morning went. I was all full of myself as I started, “How hard
can this be?” Hard, dumbass, it can be hard. I discovered I have no sense of
spacing. The first sign went kind of easy, because it wasn’t a lot of words. (Keeping
in mind Maga can’t read big words.)
Being happy with the first one, I went
headlong into the second, and that’s where the problems started. Letters didn’t
fit, words ran together, it was a mess. I was forced to do what most people now
do; ask AI (nope, not fucking SI) for help.
Did you know signs should have borders? And centers? Shit. I
had Gemini diagram some ideas out for me, and it looked like a GD blueprint for
a second bathroom. Borders from the top and sides, making center lines,
different lines of texts being different heights. WTeverlovingF? Here’s an
example of one;
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| OK, do I need a toilet with a 10 or 12 inch rough in? |
I just want this to be quick and fun, not add on a GD East Wing.
Even trying to align the words, I couldn’t get it right. Moran, indeed. I have
pencils, rulers, measuring tape, markers. I probably shoulda paid a fourth
grader to make the signs for me. Things I learned for next time, less words and
maybe not start the night before. Narrator voice, “He learned nothing and will
do the same exact damn thing next time and whine about it.”
I was surprised how “into” the sign making thing I was
getting. As you may have figured out, I’m not one for lavish ‘productions,’ I
just want to do the thing with no difficulties. As I’m hunched over my dining
room table, I had the thought this was just like writing this blog, except in
real time. Real people will see this, maybe react, maybe not. The reality of
being a writer (yes, I’m calling myself a writer, because ‘blogger’ just still
doesn’t work for me) is putting out (hopefully, admittedly) great work-aannddd
it disappears into the ether. Maybe it gets read. Maybe it doesn’t. Yet, in a weird
way-for me-this kinda felt like writing a post live. I really think that
interaction part was a key motivator for me.
The location for this rally is different from the first one.
This demonstration is on a major road, in front of a large retail parking lot, intersection,
traffic lights-much more visible. Saturday is a crisp, fall day, clear sky,
temps in the low 50s, breeze east northeast, relative humidity a comfortable 27%.
A crowd is already there; cars already honking in support. It is, in fact, a
scene. A scene that shouldn’t even be happening in 2026, but here we are. Years
from now, I will be telling someone else’s grand kids, “I was there.” On the
right side of history. I truly believe things will be much better in the
future, but we still got shit to get through today.
I take my place in the crowd facing the street. It’s odd
being at a protest. We’re taught to generally never talk politics, especially
these days, but it’s pretty safe to say all the protesters are politically
aligned. At this moment in time, it can be difficult to find people with common
sense, strong human values, concern for the environment, science, health,
education, America’s reputation on the international stage, the economy,
unemployment, rising inflation, the truth. We’re out here, and I have to believe
in the clear majority. To be shoulder to shoulder with them is inspiring.
But I’m still gonna be an asshole about the whole thing. I
have a few “go to” signs. One is Vote Guillermo Not Maga. Simple, funny, witty,
Kimmel reference. I’m probably 60-70 feet away from the traffic light, so that
means cars have to stop in front of me. When they do, I switch over to Don’t
Honk If You Support Pedos and stare. Yes, I will get this cringy real fast.
Fellow protesters take notice, and ask me if I have any more
signs. Well, yes, yes I do! Someone -who I may or may not know- takes one that
says Now Hiring-Trump Administration-* No Experience Needed. Hilarious! Aw,
Katie, we hardly knew ya.
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| Is it just me, or is that choker thing around her neck kinda sexy? |
That sign gets a lot of attention, so people now ask if I
have any more. A fine gentleman takes one of my true favorites. The front says I
Can’t Wait To Get My $5K to Buy $2 Gas. On the back of that sign is a somewhat
interactive sign. The words say New White House Press Secretary with arrows
pointing to the sign holder. I have another sign that says Talarico Is Bigger
in Texas. Will The Daily Show just hire me now?
Someone else shows up signless but wanted to participate, so
I gave her a sign that said Wait?! There’s a B in Dumb?? That sign was backed
with one of my funnier ones, but to be honest, I fucked up the writing and
spacing so much, it didn’t quite hit, but I can fix it. That sign
said Mike Johnson Was Born a Girl. But Then Went to School… Another really
solid joke never hit because I spaced it wrong; Dogs? Allowed on The Couch. JD
Vance, Not So Much. I had another one I effed up-Maga Is For
That Weird Cousin Who Thinks They're Smart. Point remains
we all have at least one of these jokers in the family tree.
As usual, I had some big ideas I didn’t have time to make happen.
Isn’t procrastination a sign of genius? Since it ‘tis the season. I wanted to take
a skeleton and chair to the rally, with a sign saying Waiting For My DOGE Check
Be Like. I also have this huge cat skeleton that I wanted to bring with a sign proclaiming
“THEY’RE EATING THE PETS!” Next time.
Friends, I will pass along what I’ve learned about making
signs, should you have such occasion that calls for handmade signs. Respect a
border. It was helpful for me if I needed the extra space at the beginning or
end of a line. Very helpful. Come up with the center point of your sign. That
will help format the text; write from the center out. Use AI (not SI) to at least get an idea. Use a
ruler to measure the height of the letters. Plan the words out and use less
on the sign. The less words you use, the quicker you can deliver the point, the
easier it is to read. Follow me on Insta for more hacks. For some reason, my IG
got shut down for a few hours on Saturday….. JK, I’m a grown man, I don’t have
an IG.
The conversations are interesting, especially for an introvert
like myself. The stories behind the signs, how these shitty politics are
impacting the real deal middle class. The price of gas, people with serious
issues trying to deal with insurance. Stories of families being torn up.
Racism. It’s all real.
Since this rally was in a busier location, there was more of
everything. The following is my unofficial breakdown, from a traffic/reaction perspective.
Not scientific by any stretch, but science doesn’t seem to matter to some
people, so this is legit. Approximately 70% of the traffic response was positive;
horns honking, people waving, smiling, raising their hands in solidarity, and
thumbs up. Hell, a number of cars were driving around with flags waving. Approximately
29% no response, no acknowledgement one way or the other. The non Maga math leaves
me with 1% who flipped fingers, thumbs down, etc. And isn’t that what makes
America great, the freedom to disagree? Yes, the fingers are humorous, and I am
sure they also have a problem with J6, right? Right? I will say, a lot of those
middle fingers came from older folks, and I really do wonder if they worry
about Medicare/Medicaid, insurance, 401ks.
One mahoff stops at the light, and loudly either talks to
himself or the poor sap next to him. “Jobs,” he says, “these people need jobs.”
Ugh, this tired trope. OK, lemme break this bullshit down.
First, it’s a Saturday. Yes, the workweek can look totally
different for a lot of folks in 2026, but, generally, people have off on
Saturday. Or at the very least to work another day instead of Saturday, or even
take the day off if need be.
Second, in my brief experience with NK, a majority of protesters
are senior citizens-maybe even doing this thing called “retirement?” Y’all
heard of this? This used to be fairly common but is almost impossible to fathom
today. I would say it was a little over 50 degrees this day, and a pair of
gloves sure felt good if you were holding signs. I saw some badass old folks, with
walkers, some standing some sitting down-all using their democratic right to
protest.
Third, um the current, shitting president is doing a
historically bad job at creating jobs. The economy is in the toilet, gas prices
are through the roof, there’s a new forever war and even the big corps who pay
the bribes are scared of what bonehead move is next.
And fourth, DUDE, I’M FUCKING TRYING. Such a personal
attack, brosef. The weight can truly be crushing at times. Look, I’ll take
responsibility for what I can control, but there’s a whole bunch of shit those of
us out of work have going against us. Didn’t we elect people to fix this? Also,
a lot of people protesting have jobs anyway. Again, that “find a job” stereotype
is almost as incorrect as the “go back to your basement” stereotype we
assign to Maga. Almost. But I wish that gentleman godspeed and a comfortable night. In his step dad’s basement.
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| "Hello there, fellow Kingsmen and Kingsladies. I too is...are....uh, ..am a dumboc...uh Democrat. Might you tell me more of your purpose here?" |
I
In the grand scheme of things, did NK really change anyone’s
mind? In my heart, I feel like Maga is finally dying off, with only the loud
ones left. Regardless, there will still be work to do, I feel there is plenty of
“worse” to get through to get to the “better” part. To me, it appears these NK
rallies get bigger and bigger, so maybe the switch will flip. My mind boggles
that there are idiots who are still “undecided.” How can anyone be undecided,
when the lines are so clearly drawn? Maga are the cumstains they are, and the Dems
are the better, human option. This is good and evil. I still haven’t met anyone
who can give me 5 ways their life has gotten better over the last two years.
Maybe I don’t know enough soulless billionaires who pay less taxes than me?
What, exactly, is next? The Blue Wave comes in and washes out
The Red Tide. I mean, it’s always good news when the red tide leaves town,
amirite? Do we have a celebration rally? Sure, there is still much hard work to
do, but this is the shift we all need. And if there is to be some sort of No Kings
Celebration Rally/Suck It Maga event, ya damn well know I have signs in
mind. I will be happy to share them here.
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| I came across this literally as I was getting ready to post. |
As I left, I felt two emotions I don’t quite particularly believe
in; hope and optimism. Hope that a better future is on the way. Optimism that
this dark timeline will finally go away, and better days for everyone. Personally,
I truly believe ‘hope’ is a horrible drug for when there is literally nothing
left. I wouldn’t describe myself as an optimistic MFer, so to feel these two
emotions is quite odd.
For the moment, it feels pretty good.
PAC Content
Yes, I’ve been quiet on FB and both blogs. Much is not for
discussion here, and maybe someday a blog over on KT. As much as the LB stuff
is a way to vent (much) frustration, it hurts my head and heart to do the
research for the political material. As funny and insightful as I think TLB
stuff is, it does come with a cost of being aware. I really do the
research to make sure my points are accurate and jokes correct and edgy. But,
damn, seeing the state of the country is rough. Almost as rough as the window
lickers who seem to be the dog in the meme going “This is fine.” Is it?
Rallies are like a reverse parade, where we stand still and
the parade drives by.
Gemini wouldn’t allow a diagram for the sign that said Don’t
Honk If You Support Pedos. So I had to change the last word to Pesos.
