MarkWayne MullinIs NotA ToughGuy (and quite possibly the best idea I've ever had)

 College basketball is on all the TVs here at The Lowered. Unpopular take; I don’t get college hoops. I mean, I appreciate there’s sports during the day; nice to take a break from Maury. Damn it, I thought for sure that guy was the father! Anyway, hoops; here’s what I don’t get. The game can be exciting, but then you get to the final 2 minutes and it ddrraggss. Are there infinite time outs? Talk about a momentum killer. Then come the intentional fouls. Then the free throws. Then the sixth timeout. Then a foul. Then the sun comes up and it’s Saturday and gas is $5 a gallon. Yea, this is a pass for me.

The bar is shockingly show; it’s like no one knows this place exists. There’s just one loser here. Well, I mean I’m here, so maybe there’s two losers here. Over his beer he starts a conversation with me. “Say, this is better than what was on TV yesterday, huh?” I know what he’s talking about. For shizzle, does every bar get this? “Yes, that was not encouraging,” I respond. “So, what did you think?” he asks me. Fine. Here we go.

Yesterday was the confirmation hearing of Grump nominee MarkWayne Mullin to succeed (sorry, success if not a word we attribute to this administration) replace former head of DHS Kristy Noem. You can read all about her here. In the interest of not warbling on and getting right to the point, you can read about his political career up to 2024 in the PAC Content below.

In January 2025, although Mullin had said that Capitol rioters who committed violent crimes "need to pay for that", upon being asked about Trump's pardon of Capitol attack defendants, he replied: "Well, are we making a big deal about the pardons that Biden put in place? That'd be worse." OK, now that we’re all caught up, let’s start here. Imma shortening his name to MM because it’s easier. And the whole MarkWayne name for some reason reminds me of DarkWing Duck. I can’t be the only one thinking this, right? Anywhoo, MM is mostly famous for this picture of bravery and valor in action.

 

Now, to be clear, this is probably all of us if we were in the Capital on J6. I don’t have any issues with this. What I do have an issue with is clearly MM is scared out of his mind. So why is he not screaming for the prosecution of the J6ers? Where is his frail line of demarcation to show some cajónes and call for responsibility, instead of spinelessly falling into lock step with Dementia Don? I’m not making any of this up (that’s their job), this is all his actions or lack there of. Something something actions speak something something.

Shouldn’t he have been happy to meet all the J6ers? These are your people. They are coming for your sake! Why on earth would you be hiding? They have red hats and want to talk about Joe Rogan with you. You dodge the “who won in 2020” question to this day. (Foreshadowing.) Him and Trump speak the same language; stupid. He’s a Trump pick through and through. I imagine these two can talk for an hour and have no idea what the other one said.

Can we please stop lining up candidates like it’s still the Apprentice? The government should not be an attempt to staff it via a reality show. Yes, the pattern has been established with the appointment of Omarosa Newman to as the director of communications for the White House Office of Public Liaison. “What’s that? You’re unqualified for this job AND I know you? You get a rose!”  Markwing strikes me as the kinda guy that has no clue how to run a government entity but probably knows every minute detail of the new season of The Bachelorette. In a joke that has now aged fortuitously, the Bachelorette is already in her second interview for a Trump cabinet position.

He claims to be Indian, but I feel like it’s more a case of a Cleveland Indian, than say the purported Cherokee. 

If there’s anything we’ve learned from Lord Tiny Hands is no one is from here, so I would like to see some substantiating paperwork from Mr. Mullin. Stuff like driver’s license, birth certificate, etc. I mean, if he’s on board with all this documentation to vote, surely, he has no issue proving he was born here. Though, I do wonder, what is his Indian name? Blanco Coward? Low Chief Blow Hard? Raging Bullshit? New Friend of Fetterman? Mahpe Heova'e? Hiding Skunk? 

Points if you get this reference.

Back to the hearing, here are just a few red flags that red hats are failing to see.

When previously pressed on the killing of Alex Pretti, Mullin called him a “deranged individual.” When asked about this at yesterday’s confirmation hearing, Mullin said, “I shouldn’t have said that. That one, I went out there too fast. I was responding immediately without the facts. That’s my fault.” The 2 red flags here

1)     If you “shouldn’t have said that,” why did it take you 2 months to figure that out?

2)     By his own admission, he “responded immediately without the facts.” Is that what we want from the potential new head of DHS/Gestapo? Does this not sound like Noem all over again? Or maybe we should “set this aside and move forward.” (Foreshadowing)

On his relationship with Felon 34: Mullin grew emotional as he spoke about the president checking in on Mullin’s son after his traumatic brain injury in 2020, when his son lost much of his memory and muscle control. “I am going to try to get through it without crying,” Mullin said, responding to a question from Wisconsin Republican Sen. Ron Johnson about where his loyalty to Trump originated. “We almost lost him. For 26 hours he had an extremely low pulse, there was a time that they thought they lose his pulse altogether,” Mullin recalled. Trump, he said, changed the trajectory of his son’s life, offering to send his “personal plane” to take him to a top neurorehabilitation center and frequently followed up with them.

Of course, the disgusting fact of the matter is that both these jackals are OK with taking away our insurance. Let that fucking hit for a minute. If it’s my (nonexistent) kid getting a brain injury, no one is going to send a plane to take him to a top doctor. But, thoughts and prayers, ya know? Totally sickening and two faced. Let’s not forget the current golfing president also openly mocked a disabled reporter 11 years ago. AND this week also made fun of Newsom’s learning disabilities. Clearly, Orangey has not evolved at all. You would think with all his disabilities…

There was also this exchange (lifted from CNN) with Republican Paul Rand: During Mullin’s grilling by some of his Senate colleagues Wednesday, Paul reprised a long-simmering feud in which Mullin called him a “snake” and said he “understood” why Paul’s neighbor had attacked him in 2017. Paul also cited a 2023 hearing in which Mullin appeared prepared to physically fight a witness.“I was shocked that you would justify and celebrate this violent assault that caused me so much pain and my family so much pain. I just wonder if someone who applauds violence against their political opponents is the right person to lead an agency that has struggled to accept limits to the proper use of force,” Paul of Kentucky told Mullin during the hearing. Repeatedly, Paul pressed Mullin to apologize for his comments, but Mullin refused. Instead, Mullin argued the pair should “set it aside,” and move forward with considering his nomination.

My take? “Fuck you, I’m not apologizing.” Regardless, MM is a longtime politician and is lockstep with “say anything to get elected, then fuck it all when in office.” What does it say that in the year 2026 in a country like America, a qualifying question for public office is “Do you believe Trump won the 2020 elections?” Yup, that’s the line of delineation between someone with a firm grasp on reality and a fucking crackpot. And for as much “evidence” you can’t find that it was “stolen”, there’s 10 times the evidence (and failed lawsuits) that prove otherwise. Spoiler alert, like his predecessor, he didn’t answer. Or couldn’t. Or was told not to. Someone should have asked him softball questions like “Do you believe in science?” “Is the world flat or round?” “Is water wet?” The bimbo factor is the same with him and Noem.

Shouldn’t be lost Operation Epstein Distraction is apparently enough to stop the release of the files, but not enough to stop this sham.

He is the type of guy to buy the newest WWE video game on day 1 and spend 7 hours creating himself for the game. The he goes on to beat the shit out of all the smaller guys and Latinos. And then probably all the women.

Speaking of, why da fuq hasn’t anyone thought of this sooner?!? These games now are so deep in their creation mode, I’m sure someone can create a Mullin, Miller, Vance, etc. And then everyone can beat the everloving shit out of them! Seriously, this is a great idea. Can one of you computer nerds get on this? Or at least share this with someone who can make it happen? And don’t worry about creating me; I’m pretty much a doppelganger for that handsome devil Seth Rollins. We both have a thing for hot redheads.

Rare shot of author. (Also, don't ask me how much time I spent with me, Becky Lynch and AI)

He’s the Karen just looking to get triggered and go off on some pour soul. He’ll Karen (yes, I’m using that as a verb, this can’t be the first time, can it?) at the Jamba Juice when the new employee accidentally uses pea protein instead of whey protein. “This is ridiculous! Because of you being stupid, I now deserve my Mango a Go Go for free! Where is Mr. Jamba, I demand to speak with him NOW! You don’t wanna go with me dude! You wanna go? You wanna GO?”

Word has it he was 25 minutes late his first day because he couldn’t get out of the revolving door. The second day he was 35 minutes late.

Like every other sycophant, his job is to gleam the headlines of Fox News, and still not get the story straight. This tool can’t even keep Iran and Iraq separate. He thinks the Flock of Seagulls biggest hit is “Iraq.” Here’s the proof

This is a lateral move at best. We can do better. The issue is the current administration CAN’T do better.

 

PAC Content

A brief bio of MarkWing’s political ascent: Just who is MarkWayne Mullin? Research and the University of Wikipedia tell me: he was first elected to Congress in 2012, Mullin hosted House Talk, a home improvement radio program on Tulsa station KFAQ that was syndicated across Oklahoma. He also owned various businesses in addition to Mullin Plumbing, including Mullin Properties, Mullin Farms, and Mullin Services.

In 2012, Mullin reported between $200,000 and $2 million in income from two family companies, and another $15,000 to $50,000 from shares he held in a bank. By the end of 2021, his reported assets had increased to between $31.6 million and $75.6 million. The increase was from the sale of his plumbing-related companies to HomeTown Services. Mullin said the sale happened in early 2021, while he was serving in the House of Representatives. In August 2022, Mullin came out against President Joe Biden's student loan forgiveness plan but was criticized after the White House Twitter account pointed out that he had benefited from $1.4 million of federal PPP loan forgiveness

I hope y’all realized I’m using a bunch of imagery from the visionary They Live movie, starring the great Rowdy Roddy Piper. This movie is like 40 years old, and NOT available to stream anywhere. WTF with that? A great watch for these days, go track it down, because you’ll be seeing a lot more of it here.

A lot of these TLB posts are being written to Neil Young music. I feel like we’re both at the same level of ‘old man angry.’

For the record, I tried to merge Mark’s empty head with Darkwing Duck’s body, but AI constantly blocked me. The amount of time I wasted on what should have been a simple joke tells me I desperately need a job.

Also, AI won't allow much with current or previous political figures. I was working out a visual for Trump to be giving out roses like he was on the Bachelor, but it wasn't allowed. That is saying something when Sundown Don can get that disgusting image of the Obamas made. Shows a lot of clear intention.

Not to blow my own horn here, but I do love that revolving door joke.