Positive Affirmations

 

Look, it ain’t easy being a face for The Resistance. On top of all of that, I got a business to run. And if you want a successful anything, the best way to do it is to surround yourself with extraordinary people. And as the hiring manager here at the good ol’ LB, I gotta say I have a great time with them. Business managers, front of house, cooks, bartenders, waitstaff. And the secret to our success? Easy, I use what I call the Anti-Republican Method. As a visual, here’s the current (always apt to change, amIrite?) Cabinet.

This is what lack of diversity gets you.

Allow me to get off topic here. Look at all these “anti-woke” snowflakes. Notice any similarities? Yup, they all look the same, and look at the abject mess that has gotten us into. All you ICE supporting motherfuckers, ask what makes “America great again.” Rounding up the dirty, scary, corrupt, drug dealing illegals? Or, and follow me here, all the whites in business suits shown above who are getting rid of Medicare, protecting pedos in the Epstein files, giving tax breaks to the top 1% (of which you are NOT, BTW Cletus), wasting our tax money on renaming all sorts of things in honor of Orange Hitler, funding illegal wars, renaming historical monuments and ships. etc. Yes, God fearing Christian, the “illegal” Mexican with all her papers here legally is the bigger problem.

What was I talking about?

I hire directly against this. For example, I happily hire these people called women. I also hire these people that are of a different color than mine. And a different religion. And a different ethnicity. And a different orientation. You guys know we can do that? There’s a word for it, anyone know what it is?

Hell, I just had some white coat wearing nerd from the local gubbermint, come in with a candidate that was legally considered “mentally dumb as a shoe.” To be clear, this was Poindexter’s words. I didn’t know that was a legally binding condition, but, hey, if the gubbermint says so, it must be true, right? Especially the last few years. And guess what, I had a spot for him. I made him the manager of our red-sheep sister bar The Annex. He’s currently fucking that place up something awful, but the dwindling number of regulars can’t seem to get enough of him. Yes, those are the “some of the people” that get fooled “all of the time.” And “every damn time.”

In addition to being on the front lines, we all like to have a good time doing it. To that point, the cooks in the kitchen started something rather organic, and, welp, it’s taken off. And we’d like to share what our awesome customers have taken and run with. The story, one day, a cook made a quick white board, slapped it up on the wall. It looked like this

Which quickly lead to this:

Well, we were all enthralled with this simple sentiment. You see, when you live in the Land of Logic and Common Fucking Sense, you get shit. A lot of it. I can’t tell you how much negativity we get for speaking our mind and being on the side of history and decency. I’ve gotten TONS of hate mail about how “negative” we are.  So much, from everyone. In fact, this sums up all the vitriol (look it up) we get:

Sound like someone else's MO?

A day later, the board in our kitchen now said this:

We got some funny, funny mudderfuckers in the kitchen. Come day 3, all TLB employees wanted to get into the action. A wave of positivity was emitting from The LB. It’s like we turned on the faucet and started to overflow with positive affirmations. Of course, someone took it a bit further, and created Post It notes for us to place all around the bar:

Like the merry agents of chaos and mischief we are, we got right to it:

Oh, what fun! In addition to the smaller sizes, this soon morphed into biglier sized signs. The staff was super energized coming up with our positive affirmations and hiding them all over.

Eventually, it was bound to happen. A table of our regulars found one. They marched right up to me and said-“We want to play.” OK, we give the people what they want. Wacky idea, right? In addition to now giving the blank Post Its and signs to diners who ask, we got napkins made up as well. And, MAN, our supporters DID NOT disappoint. Much like the waves on LAKE FUCKING ONTARIO, suddenly, we were awash in positive affirmations. We’re excited to share some of the best work of our democracy loving supporters. It all started with this:

And off to the races!

 

My personal favorite

You GD know these got framed and hung in my office

OK, seriously? This next one is exactly why we don’t allow kids in the bar past 7. Take this crap to the Annex. On second thought, please NO ONE take your child to the Annex

Dayum! I wish my handwriting was as good as y’alls!

Of course, it was only a matter of time until you savages went here. Savages! (We’re not mad.)

Wow, so much positive energy here! Great work, squad. I have my crack social media team hard at work on the proper hash tag; #ImBetterThanTrump and maybe a few more. Just in time for our fall merch cash grab drop! And here’s the thing, yes we can be positive by what we do. But we can also be positive by what we DON’T do. Anyone wanna guess what  next week's post will be about?

 

PAC Content

OK, creative license, as I should have been changing the background in more pics. But I didn’t think of that until it was too late, and Gemini was being difficult, so can we let that slide?

Oh, you fucking-a KNOW part 2 is coming next week. I think I’m halfway through all the AI-which there will be a lot more of. I say ‘think’ because it keeps getting longer

Behind the curtain-I actually do keep a running file of ideas and titles for content for both my heavily ignored blogs. I have one title that I have no idea what the idea is-Karoline Leavitt Karaoke Night. I’m sure the concept was funny, though.

You can copy all the blank templates and use them on your own if you’d like.

I'm also starting of thinking a semi-regular feature called Unhappy Hour. Unhappy Hour will be quick hits, memes, thoughts, jokes, etc. Basically, quick. thoughts that don't merit a full post. Looking for feedback on this idea.